The More We Allow Ourselves To Do Silly Things, The More Confident We Become

by Sheba Leung

How should a confident person be like?

Someone who does everything well, believes in his competence, and has pride in his achievements? Or someone who does stupid things occasionally in front of others?

The former description might seem to fit the typical definition of confident people. Innumerable articles and discussions tell us that to be more confident, we need to remind ourselves of what we have achieved whenever we doubt ourselves.

But what if the answer is the other way round? In fact, the ones who are more willing to accept their idiocies are more confident.

Some people are not really that confident.
We are conscious of our competence and achievements because they are probably the only solid things in our lives to prove our abilities and strengths. We say Usain Bolt is an excellent sprinter not just because he is physically strong but because he has the ability to break world records. The recognition and pride that come from within are our sources of confidence.

But in the long term, if we will care too much about our dignity and overestimate our importance, we will easily avoid situations that threaten them.

Let’s say if Bolt were someone who cared much about his dignity, it is very likely that he would refuse when someone invited him to participate in any competition as he would fear that failure would damage his image as a great runner.

Confidence built upon our competence achievements might not be something that we should look for. Accept our stupidity is the way to build true confidence.

Everyone is stupid and deranged by nature.

It might be hard to accept it but let’s face the truth: everyone is stupid in some sense.

You and I certainly have some moments finding ourselves stupid, no exception for the great people. Erasmus, a Dutch Renaissance humanist who wrote In Praise of Folly, suggested that everyone is a fool by nature. He himself was also a fool in his eyes. He was irrationally nervous whenever he met new people and acted stupidly in banquets even he was well-respected for his profound knowledge.

We should not keep reassuring our dignity but recognize the fact that everyone does silly things and makes mistakes from time to time. Sometimes we try to cover our weaknesses as much as possible because of the fear of humiliation. But embracing our foolishness is the first step to truly build our confidence.

Confidence has a much broader meaning than just being proud. When everyone is as silly as we are, there’s nothing wrong to do one more silly thing in life. And we will be more comfortable living with our own skin.

Make fun of yourself!

Allowing yourself to make mistakes and laugh at yourself afterwards is the key to build your confidence. If you are a lost tourist, you can embrace your innocence and kindly ask for direction despite the fact that people might regard you with contempt. But it’s totally fine. You can simply laugh at yourself for not getting well-prepared for your trip.

When you laugh at yourself more often, you will realize that you don’t need to be perfect to be accepted. We can do nothing about our stupidity as it is an inborn quality of the human race. How great it is to know that even the greatest people are as stupid as we are! The true confidence we have will allow us to give things a go and accept whatever happens to us.

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6 Questions That Help You Break Out of A Motivational Slump

by Daniella Whyte

Even the best, most ambitious people find it hard to get things done sometimes. Motivation doesn’t exactly greet us every morning or even make attempts to show up at the front door and ring the bell. Many days can be a struggle to reach goals and meet deadlines. Occasionally, the motivation just isn’t there and we let the “slumpiness” take over our usually powerful and productive selves.

Well, there’s help. The first step to getting out of a slump is to discover why you’re in one, in the first place. To do that, you must ask yourself the right questions. Here are some questions to consider when you’re in a slump:

1. Are you tired?

Many times, when you’re lacking food, exercise, sleep, or proper nutrition, you will feel sick and tired. You need to work, but you can’t do so effectively until you take care of your body on a regular basis. And regular means being consistent.
You can’t eat healthy for a week and then eat junk for the next three weeks. Your body will respond better to consistent care, than it will to sporadic treatments.

2. Are you in the middle of something?

Some say, beginning a project is the hardest. That may be true for many, but I tend to disagree. Continuing a project for any length of time is the hardest part.
Usually, you’re excited at the start and then there’s a mad dash when you get close to the end. In the middle, is where most of us lose it. It isn’t so much as packing for a trip or arriving at the destination, that concerns most of us; it’s how long the journey in between is, that causes us to quit or never even begin.

3. What are you focused on?

Focusing on too many projects at once can ruin your motivation. You may think you are, but you’re not an acrobat. At least, I’m not. You only have so much time and so much energy to dedicate to any one thing.
If you focus on one thing and get it done before moving on to the next thing, you will feel better about each task and each one has the potential of being more successful. Multitasking is, quite honestly, a curse.

4. Who are you focused on?

Often, when you don’t know where to start or how to start, it can be a good idea to ask someone else, if they need help. A focus on one’s self can be draining. A focus on the needs of others or on someone else’s project may be just the impetus and fuel you need to refresh yourself and begin working on your own.

5. Are you procrastinating?

Procrastination will throw you into a slump faster than you think. If you’re dreading something you know you should complete, you’re not really helping yourself by just thinking about it. After the dread is gone, the project will still be there.
If the dread stays around longer than it should, the project will still be there. The only way to “un-dread” yourself is to stop procrastinating and get to work. You will find that once you get into the project, the dread was all for nothing.

6. What is your confidence level?

Usually, when we’re in a slump, our confidence levels are very low. When you lack conviction, you usually don’t know when to move or what direction to move into.
You’re scared to do anything because this will usually eject you from your comfort zone. The way to raise your level of confidence is to step out and do something. Appreciate your own abilities and believe that you can do the thing you set your mind to.
In the act of overcoming our “slumpiness”, we find ourselves, move past our limits, gain a little more ground each day, and become our own personal heroes.

“As you begin to live according to your own guidance and your own daring everything changes completely.” – Leonard Willoughby

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