Showing posts with label Mindset. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Mindset. Show all posts

Wednesday, April 26, 2017

6 Ways to Embrace an Abundance Mindset




Her name is Nikki Bollerman and she teaches third grade at an inner-city Boston charter school. Bollerman’s students don’t come from houses stocked with books, so in 2014 she applied for a contest called the #WishForOthers campaign. She wanted to be able to buy a book for each of them to practice reading over the holiday break.
She won. The sponsor, Capital One, funded three books for each child and also awarded her one of the grand prizes: $150,000.
If you’re in your 20s like Bollerman—or recall being in your 20s—you remember how tight the budget can be in those years. I don’t know Bollerman’s personal situation, but I’m guessing she wasn’t rolling in cash. Still, she donated the winnings to the school.
“To me,” she later told reporters, “there was no other real option. I mean, I wished for it for the kids. Where else would it go other than them?”
Bollerman is a prime example of one of my favorite topics: Abundance.
People with an abundance mindset believe there is plenty of money, power and recognition to share with others. They are the opposite of those operating from a scarcity mindset, who hoard everything from financial resources to credit for a job well done.
As much as we love and respect wealthy and generous people such as Bill and Melinda Gates, it’s people on the lower end of the financial spectrum who are the biggest givers. There’s been a lot of research on this lately. In 2011 Americans in the top 20 percent of the income spectrum contributed 1.3 percent of their income to charity. The people in the bottom 20 percent donated 3.2 percent. University of California, Berkeley researcher Paul Piff suggests that the people most frequently exposed to others in distress are far more in tune with the needs of their fellow man.
If the less able among us freely offer help, then we of greater means have no excuse.
When I talk about abundance, I’m not just talking about financial generosity. I’m talking about sharing your whole self: your talents, ideas, creativity, compassion and, yes, if you can, your wealth. But I didn’t always think this way.
My first job took me to Hillham, Indiana, a tiny town of 11 houses and one grocery store. I was charged with pastoring a church and I directed all of my energy to that task, growing it so much we had to expand into a larger building. A few years later, when my denomination offered me a job at a larger church in Lancaster, Ohio, I was determined to make similar strides. By 1975 our church had the fastest-growing Sunday School in the state.
I was excited. I was proud. I was also obsessed with comparing my results to those of my fellow pastors. I scrutinized our denomination’s annual report. Where do I rank? How am I doing? How do I stand out now? Do you think I was about to share the secrets of my success with my colleagues? Hardly.
After realizing my errors and acknowledging my selfishness, I promised to dedicate my career to training other leaders, to sharing whatever knowledge I picked up along the way so others could add it to their own, magnify it and hand it to someone else.
Thinking abundantly is a first step toward adding value to others. And when you add value to others, your significance grows. It’s an upward cycle.
So how do we learn to ditch scarcity and embrace abundance?

1. Strive for personal success.

Discover your gifts. What do you have to offer the world? What’s uniquely yours to give? Amass your wealth (and remember, I’m not just talking about money) so you can dole it out to others.

2. Share your accomplishments.

If you achieve a victory at work, will you claim the glory or recognize others who have contributed toward the goal? If you discover a more efficient procedure, a better way of doing business or a new strategy, will you keep it under wraps or shout it out to others on your team?

3. Offer encouragement.

A kind word is a gift. Sometimes we feel like we have nothing to give, but we can always conjure up a statement of support. Who knows? Your words might inspire someone to take the next step in his or her journey.

4. Stay connected.

There’s nothing wrong with working your way to the corner office. In fact, I encourage your aspirations. But as you sit at the top, don’t lose sight of the pressures and challenges that people on different levels of the economic ladder face. What can you give to them?

5. Think like a servant.

We’re wired from the time we’re kids to protect our own self-interests—to be the best athlete, the top scholar, the class president, whatever. Rarely do we think about being the team player or the teacher—someone like Bollerman—who sacrifices his or her wants, needs, fame or fortune so that someone else might excel.

6. Consider the ocean.

 When you stand on the beach and watch the waves hit the shore, do you think there’s any end to the water? That’s how the abundance mindset works.
 hen you stand on the beach and watch the waves hit the shore, do you think there’s any end to the water? There is, of course, but we can’t comprehend it, so we think seawater is endlessly abundant. You would never deny a bucketful to a child building a sand castle because you can refill that bucket again and again. That’s how the abundance mindset works. You give away praise, recognition, ideas, knowledge and money because you know there’s plenty to go around. What you give away will come back to you a thousand times over. I guarantee it.
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Monday, March 20, 2017

This Mindset is Essential If You Want To Feel More Comfortable Around People

by Ana Erkic


Many people today struggle with some type of social anxiety whether it is related to a particular type of social situation, or it is present in any type of interaction with unfamiliar people. Being uncomfortable around people makes life a lot more complicated since in order to achieve any goal in life – personal or professional we ought to make conversations and develop relationships with others. More so, people are social beings, and it is in our DNA to want to interact with others, it is just that for some of us, it can be quite challenging at times.
The reasons we are uncomfortable around people

As mentioned earlier, we as humans are dependent upon social interactions and we essentially crave those, yet for some it may seem completely natural to express themselves in front of their close ones, while the thought of interacting with strangers seems unbearable. The fear of not being perceived by others as worthy creates a blockage in people’s thoughts preventing them from being able to think clearly, and therefore, their biggest fears come to life. The reasons may vary, but for most people the problem seems to develop out of negative self-belief. Overthinking, shyness and other side-effects have all been developed from a negative perception we have of ourselves. People who think of themselves as smart, funny, eloquent and attractive have no problem to interact with any group of people, whereas people who judge themselves too harshly often fear that others may do the same.

A mindset to help you be more comfortable around others

Contrary to the popular belief, there are no sets of skills we need to learn that would make us more comfortable when interacting with people. Even though good listening skills, empathy and body language can be beneficial, the only way that we are ever going to be comfortable around people is if we adopt the mindset that anyone who is great in different social situations has got.

It all comes down to how you see and believe yourself to be. Socially anxious people think that others perceive them as awkward, stupid or unattractive, or fear that they might if they start expressing themselves, when, in most cases, it is just their belief about themselves, and since they are so much focused on that perception, they tend to find evidence of that in social interactions.

Stop caring desperately about how other people may perceive you. Look for your positive traits and focus on those, then you will see how others respond well. You will get much more confident, because over time, you will stop caring so much what others think, since you will no longer need their validation to make you feel good. Then the magic starts to happen. You get to freely involve in many more social situations, your fear of rejection or of embarrassment disappears and you stop overthinking so much, and start acting instead. Your encounters with people improve as a result, as people like to spend time with you because you are able to develop much more meaningful conversations since you are no longer only focused on what you are about to say, and as a result, you become more engaging rather than standing on the sidelines.

Even if you find yourself in an unpleasant social situation, don’t get mad or feel hurt. Don’t let it bring you down, because if you feel bad, you will start overthinking again and your confidence level will go down. Just put on a big smile and keep going. Not everybody can like you, and that’s fine. If you stop being harsh to yourself and act instead of think, people will see how confident you are and feel attracted to you and start enjoying your company.

Featured photo credit: https://unsplash.com/ via unsplash.com

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Saturday, February 11, 2017

The Secret to Attracting Anything You Want in Life
The mindset you need to have to attract anything in life including a great sex life is the same mindset you need to have to be wildly attractive on-camera. The better you get on-camera, the more you’ll be able to attract whatever it is you want in life.
The Science of On-Camera Attraction
Nowadays, no matter what you want, the odds are you have to – at some point – appear on camera to get it. Online dating? You need an attractive dating photo.  Job hunting? A headshot is a must and often a Skype interview is part of the process. Have an online business? You’re going to have to make and appear in videos (because nothing on the internet converts higher than video).  The success you have in either attracting the lover, getting the job or booking the client all starts with being attractive on camera. If there’s one thing you take from this article, it’s that being attractive on-camera has NOTHING to do with physical looks.
When I talk about attraction, I am talking about one’s ability to attract whatever it is they want through photos and videos. This is a consequence of something that has nothing to do with being ‘pretty’ or ‘handsome’ and everything to do with something else.
Have you ever seen a couple fighting in public? If you think back to a time when you have, you’ll probably remember they attract a lot of attention. People cautiously hush their own conversations and shift their attention over to the couple that’s fighting. Why? Is it because they’re being socially inappropriate? Not really. It’s because they’re not self-conscious at all.  They’re highly emotional and completely committed to having an impact on the other person. They don’t care that they’re in public and are absolutely not self-conscious. Because of this, they are very attractive and it’s hard for people to look away. They’ve captured the attention of others and are holding it without even trying.
You can can learn to do the same without have a domestic dispute in public. There are certain things anyone can do on on-camera that will make them instantly more attractive than someone who’s not doing them.
From Self-Conscious to Other-Conscious
  1. Who are you talking to? Specifically? The camera is just a pass through unto whomever you want to reach. It’s an inanimate object that is simply designed to capture what’s there. When we get specific about who we’re talking to, it immediately connects us to something outside of ourselves. Hint: pick a person you feel strongly about. A lover, husband, wife, best friend. Someone who you care deeply for and focus on them.
  1. How do you want to make them feel? Happy? Inspired? Sexy? Loved? Once you decide – then do that. How? You already know how. The way you greet someone you adore is a very different than how you greet someone that you want to back over with your car. It’s called acting. It’s what the best actors in the world do. They focus on who they are talking to and how they want to make them feel. If you’re being photographed, this is all you need. If you’re in a video, since you have to speak, you need to add one more element.
  1. Why. Why are you talking to them? To inspire them? To share your passion about a product you’re selling or to teach them (fill in the blank)? If you’re in business and you know your subject matter, this is all you have to do. Think about who you’re talking to and why. The what will take care of itself. This is what allows people to hop on a video platform like Periscope or Facebook Live and be brilliant without a script.  Oprah Winfrey is a master of this and a large part of the reason behind her $3.2 billion net worth.
More Confidence Between the Sheets
The mindset you need to have to attract anything in life including a great sex life is the same mindset you need to have to be wildly attractive on-camera. The better you get on-camera, the more you’ll be able to attract whatever it is you want in life.
Nowadays, no matter what you want, the odds are you have to – at some point – appear on camera to get it. Online dating? You need an attractive dating photo.  Job hunting? A headshot is a must and often a Skype interview is part of the process. Have an online business? You’re going to have to make and appear in videos (because nothing on the internet converts higher than video).  The success you have in either attracting the lover, getting the job or booking the client all starts with being attractive on camera. If there’s one thing you take from this article, it’s that being attractive on-camera has NOTHING to do with physical looks.
When I talk about attraction, I am talking about one’s ability to attract whatever it is they want through photos and videos. This is a consequence of something that has nothing to do with being ‘pretty’ or ‘handsome’ and everything to do with something else.
Have you ever seen a couple fighting in public? If you think back to a time when you have, you’ll probably remember they attract a lot of attention. People cautiously hush their own conversations and shift their attention over to the couple that’s fighting. Why? Is it because they’re being socially inappropriate? Not really. It’s because they’re not self-conscious at all.  They’re highly emotional and completely committed to having an impact on the other person. They don’t care that they’re in public and are absolutely not self-conscious. Because of this, they are very attractive and it’s hard for people to look away. They’ve captured the attention of others and are holding it without even trying.
You can can learn to do the same without have a domestic dispute in public. There are certain things anyone can do on on-camera that will make them instantly more attractive than someone who’s not doing them.
The goal is to get you from being self-conscious to other-conscious. Hopping back to the bedroom analogy for a moment, when two completely other-conscious people are in the bedroom, there are some serious fireworks. When you have two self-conscious people in same bedroom scenario, things can be awkward. Awkward would describe 99% of the people that first step in front of my camera – before I share with them what I’m about to share with you.
There are three very simple decisions you need to make before you step in front of any camera.
That’s the value of The Science of On-Camera Attraction. It’s limitless. The better you get on-camera, the more you’ll be able to attract whatever it is you want in life. All it takes is a little bit of practice.
How do things in the bedroom go for you when you’re feeling self-conscious? Self-conscious about yourself or your body (or a part of your body)? Do things go well or not so well? How would you describe your experience in the bedroom when you’re feeling self-conscious? Probably, not so good. Or even, not at all.
But what about when you feel totally free? When you’re not watching yourself or self-conscious at all? When you feel able to completely lose control? Things tend to go a little bit better for you, don’t they? In most cases, a lot better. The truth is that the tools you need to have a great orgasm are the same tools you need to be wildly attractive on-camera.
Consider the approach you probably took in your bedroom journey. That first experience you had was probably an awkward one. But you didn’t say: “Well that wasn’t much fun, I’m not going to try that again.” After that initial bit of awkwardness wore off, you probably thought: “I feel this is worth trying again – (and again and again).” If you take that same approach with your on-camera work and focus on who you’re connecting with and how you want to make them feel you’re going to see an instant increase in your own level of attractiveness on-camera. I’d even go so far as to say if you apply this mindset to other areas of your life you’ll see some pretty exciting benefits there as well.
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