Success and Freedom

Jennifer Purdie on shyness

Pain Point: Extreme shyness

Tactic: Overcame fear step by step

Today: She is active in improv comedy, more outgoing at work and in her social life, and having fun.

I was always very, very shy. In high school, I was voted “Quietest”; as an adult, social situations were really uncomfortable. I rarely went out with groups, and when I did, I constantly worried about what to say or sounding stupid. So I usually said little. I chose a writing career because I wouldn’t have to interact with people often, and at work, I avoided making presentations. I rarely dated.

However, four years ago I had a boyfriend for a year. He ended it by going completely silent, not returning my calls or texts. The breakup was painful, and I became depressed—partly because I’m so introverted that I knew it would be hard to meet someone else.

I decided to make a change three years ago. As a New Year’s resolution, I wrote down that I would get out of my comfort zone. The most uncomfortable thing I could think of was stand-up comedy. I’m a goal-setter and writer, so if I write down a goal, I have to do it.

I didn’t tell anyone in my family, and I picked an improvement class two hours away in Los Angeles, where I didn’t know anyone, so there was zero chance of bumping into an acquaintance.

I went every week and started to get really good. My classmates gave me really positive feedback, and one teacher messaged me after class and said, “I don’t think you know how good you are.” I was having fun and making friends. I’m no longer depressed and have something to look forward to every week. Knowing that I can be funny makes it easier for me to connect with people, including friends. I’m just more fun to be around.

I’m still shy, but my newfound confidence has bled into other parts of my life. I signed up for The Moth, a storytelling collective, and seek opportunities at work that allow me to speak in front of other people, which has opened up new career channels I otherwise wouldn’t have had access to. It was a matter of taking that baby step in signing up for the comedy class. And it has changed my life.

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