In Order To Achieve Lasting Success: 10 Tips To Become An Attractive Person
by Meiko Patton
Step 6: Take 100-percent Responsibility For Your Life
If you want to be successful, you will have to lose the “blame-game” mentality. You know what I mean, right? If your relationships aren’t going the way you want, you can’t blame the other person, you have to take full responsibility. If your health isn’t good, you can’t blame anyone, you’ve decided what to eat, so you must take full responsibility. If you are in debt, you can’t blame the economy, you have to take 100-percent responsibility for the financial state you’re in.
I know this isn’t easy, but it’s a must if you want to be successful. Oh, by the way, this also goes for complaining. No more of that either because when you complain, you are blaming other people. You are the common denominator in your life, so that means you are the cause of all your life experiences.
If you add 2 plus 2 and get 5, is it the fault of mathematics? No, it’s YOU. If you are not getting the results you want in life, it’s not because of something outside yourself, it’s YOU. You are the problem, but fortunately, you are the solution as well. So no more lame excuses, ok? If something doesn’t go as planned, ask, “How did I create or contribute to this? What can I learn from this? How can I avoid this outcome in the future? The truth is that, you either create or allow everything that happens to you. You create it by your actions. You allow it by your inactions, or in other words, your unwillingness to change. When you fully understand this, you will come from a place of power and make the changes that need to be made.
Step 7: Decide Exactly What You Want
“The world has a habit of making room for the man whose words and actions show that he knows where he is going”. – Napoleon Hill
In order to attain professional achievement, you must decide what you really want from your life and career. Take a minute to identify what you love doing. What is your passion? Look deep inside yourself to determine what you really enjoy.
It’s simple. All of us have a gift. Determine whatever it is you enjoy doing that takes the least amount of effort. Now write it down.
Think back over your past jobs. What have been your most satisfying experiences and your most enjoyable moments?
Your aim is to replicate those feelings as you either embark on a new career or entrepreneurial endeavor . But you must first accept the responsibility of deciding what you want and then dedicating yourself to becoming the person you need to be in order to get where you want to go.
One technique that many use with great success is visualization. Visualization is the act of seeing your self where you want to be in ‘x’ number of years.
For instance, in three years, where do you want to be career wise? What is your ideal job, your ideal salary and your ideal working conditions? Imagine that every job in the world was open to you. What would you enjoy doing day after day? It has often been said that if you find a job that you love to do, you won’t really have to work a day in your life. Find your passion and this could be true for you too.
Step 8: Get Clear On Your Why
We often see celebrities that have reached the pinnacle of their industry receiving awards and accolades, but then we will see that same celebrity the next day sometimes getting arrested.
Why the discrepancy?
Their focus on succeeding in one area of life created a great imbalance with the other areas. You do not want to be like this. You want balance in every area of your life. Strive for congruency.
Becoming successful is great, but make sure you do not focus all your attention on this to the detriment of your health and relationships with others. Get clear on exactly why you want what you want. Jim Rohn said,” Beware of who you become in pursuit of what you want.” Without a purpose, you can easily become lost. Start by figuring out what your core values are.
All companies have clear, written values or mission statements that keep them on course. What is your personal mission statement? Just as companies thrive when they know where they are going, individuals do too. You can improve your personal and by extension your professional life by deciding what your core values are and not deviating from them.
When you are clear on your ‘why’, the ‘how’ becomes easier to see.
Step 9: Invite Pain Over For Dinner
“The greater danger for most of us is not that our aim is too high and we miss it, but that it is too low and we reach it.” – Michelangelo
Take out a piece a paper and pencil. Draw to dots, one on the far right and the other on the far left. Then draw a line to connect the two dots. The dot on the left represents where you are and the dot on the right represents where you want to be. That long line in the middle represents a gap.
How can you bridge this gap?
You can do so with new knowledge and updated skills. You will have to do something new and different to get to where you want to be. But it won’t be easy though because anything worthwhile never is.
Just look around you. Everything you see began as a thought in someone’s mind. The chair you’re sitting on. The book you’re reading. The car you drive. The clothes you’re wearing. Everything begins with a thought. Then that thought turned into action. Action is oftentimes accompanied with pain. Why? Because you have to do something different. You have to get out of your comfort zone. You have to have self-discipline.
Olympic Gold Medalist Michael Phelps trained for years to get to the pinnacle of his sport. Olympic Gold Medalist Gabby Douglas did too. It wasn’t easy, but they were dedicated and stuck to a rigorous training schedule every day.
If you want similar results in your professional life, you have to be willing to put in the time. If you really want to be successful in life, you have to be willing to suffer a little pain in the process. But the great thing about pain is that it’s only temporary but the benefits can last a lifetime.
Step 10: Think Your Way To Success
“All that a man achieves or fails to achieve is the direct result of his thoughts.” – James Allen
In his book, Make Today Count, author John Maxwell list 11 ways of thinking, but the one I want to discuss with you is number seven on his list. It is reflective thinking.
Reflective thinking is the ability to revisit the past in order to gain a true perspective and think with understanding. Why is this so important?
Because reflection can help you achieve better results. I love to write, so I have written down the obstacles I faced and correspondingly, the lessons I’ve learned from those challenges. It was only by reflecting, that I was able to grow as a person. I saw where I needed to improve my character and I made the needed changes. As a result, I was able to land my dream job for the federal government in 2009. Had I not reflected, I might still be in the same job today.
Reflection allows difficult experiences to be our teachers. If we reflect on the lessons learned you will not only live a better life, but you will be able to implement changes in your life to ensure you do not have to repeat that same experience again. And once you have learned the lesson, you are in a better position to be able to spare someone else those hard life lessons by mentoring others with the wisdom you’ve gained.
What truly caused me to reflect on my life and the many lessons I learned was the death of my mother. She was a gem of a person and I learned how to be a beautiful caring woman because of her. Since losing her I find myself reflecting on the many things she taught me.
I sit and think of the lessons I learned. I try to help others by dispensing some of her wisdom to them. This reflection has not only helped me personally, but professionally as well.
What will reflective thinking do for you? Try it and let me know your results.
When you commit to doing all these things daily, you are becoming a more attractive person.
Yes, it is within your reach.
Let me know in the comments which one you will work on first.
Featured photo credit: Wikipedia via en.wikipedia.org
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