Signs You’re Being Passive-Aggressive

We’ve all come across passive-aggressive behavior at some point — from the friend who compliments your “starter home” to the coworker who checks his phone while you’re talking. But while it’s easy to spot when it’s happening to us, it’s not always easy to know when we’re doing it.

Being passive-aggressive doesn’t mean you’re a bad person. Often it’s “a strategy we use when we think we don’t deserve to speak our minds or we’re afraid to be honest and open,” says psychotherapist Tina Gilbertson, LPC, author of Constructive Wallowing: How to Beat Bad Feelings.

Are you being passive-aggressive … but have no idea? Here are eight common signs.

Table of Contents

1. Asking Threat-Based Questions
2. Making Wistful Statements
3. Doling Out Backhanded Compliments
4. Ignoring or Saying Nothing
5. Procrastinating
6. Leaving Someone Out
7. Sabotaging Someone
8. Keeping Score